I was sitting in my local coffee establishment the other day, tucked away in a sunny corner sipping my non-fat latte when I over heard these words from a woman to her male colleague:
“Girls who have sex feel something in their hearts. It’s not just hello, goodbye. This generation, they feel nothing. For them it’s like going to Starbucks and ordering a coffee: “You want to have sex?” “Sure.”
Such sadness I heard in that mother’s voice from deep in her heart. She wanted something more for her daughter. Respect. Relationship. Commitment. Something down deep that she has recognized is missing. She’s heard it when she listened to her daughter talk about her friends. “So and so went home with K last night.” “Are they serious?” mom asked. “No” said the daughter with a laugh in her voice. “People just sleep together, mom. There’s no relationship, no strings.”
Mom is reflecting on what her daughter has said to her. She wonders, ‘is my daughter doing this too?’ She sees no emotional attachment whatever from them. She wants to know ‘What is this generation thinking?’
There was no way I could interject myself into the conversation that day. They moved on to talking about their professional lives after they left the subject when the male colleague commiserated with her saying that he just didn’t understand what they were thinking either. He expressed what it was like for boys when he was growing up. Words like respect, in the locker room and other words came from his mouth. No help there. I could see it in her eyes when she looked up, her reflection in the window.
What I could do I did.
I have become a clandestine pray-er. When I’ve heard things or saw things occur I’ve turned to the Lord to ask for provision for that person. There have been occasions when I’ve been able to insert myself into conversation, but that was not to be that day. My heart was breaking for this mom. Her child is an adult, she can make her own decisions. Yet this mama’s heart recognized that what was happening was not right.
These parents are concerned for their children and their hearts; yet they do not understand what is missing because they themselves are missing Him in their own lives. In the end, because they have no answers, they will throw up their hands and claim they just don’t understand.
But, I’d like to say this to that young woman, to any young woman, be she 16 or 26:
“Hey there, sweet thing, you there, with your whole life ahead of you. There’s vast horizons ahead, full of hope and dreams of success. I see the anticipation in your bright eyes for what’s to come. I also see something else there, in the corner of your eye peaking out; the desire to be loved but not sure where to go or who to go to. You look up. Across the room, I see it. Your eye catches his.
That one there–him. Your heart whispers: ‘Would he love me?’ or ‘Would he use my body and walk away?’
Would you even realize that he had taken something from you that you don’t know how to get back? Will you be stolen from, like your friend there? I see it in her eyes, too- it shows behind that all-together look she presents to the world. I also see bewilderment-wondering how she ended up where she is and is this all there is? She’s whispering to herself: ‘I guess I’ll always feel this way. That’s just how it is in this world.’
Oh dear one, there’s more, so much more for you. I don’t know you. I probably won’t ever even pass you on the street. But I can pray for you, for your friends, for your hearts to be protected by His love and grace. For someone to bring that word you are longing to hear-He Loves You, He Made You, He has a plan for You, He won’t ever leave you. He can take those feelings away and give you new feelings and He can remove that insecurity forever. You are His Child and don’t know it. Yet.”
You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous person, though for a good person someone might possibly dare to die. But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Romans 5: 6-8
My friends, become a clandestine pray-er with me? You may be the only person who prays for someone today.