It’s 5-minute Friday again. Today’s prompt is:
Broken.
Not unexpected considering that today is Good Friday. The day my Savior died. The day He became battered and broken for all of our brokenness. The day we saw what all of the brokenness looked like and what it took to heal us.
Where do we find the words? How could we ever describe- really what that brokenness feels like or looks like down deep within us?
My broken shows up in my head unannounced. A moment that panic rises to the surface. A nasty word followed by more nasty words. The look I give in deep displeasure and disapproval of what I see that makes others cringe and feel smaller than me. A deep dislike of self that grows and gobbles everything inside me til it erupts and spills over on everyone and everything in a nuclear waste dump and projects itself outward causing more breaking. The implosion afterward and the tears washing over in shame, regret, doubt. Fear. Sadness. Overwhelming sadness. Grief unmeasured.
That’s what I am in the broken. There are times when I get a hint that it’s going to show itself again and I immediately see myself take all of that life-sucking emotion and head out to the back fence with my best china in hand and throwing it as hard as I can at the fence and watch it shatter with the force that’s been building up, closed in down deep within me. Sometimes it works. For the moment. Visualization running rampant in my head…
But, you and I both know the ONLY remedy for my brokenness is Him. All of Him. In me. And nothing of me in me.
And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another advocate to help you and be with you forever–the Spirit of truth.The world cannot accept him, because it neither sees him nor knows him. But you know him, for he lives with you and will be in you. I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you. Before long, the world will not see me anymore, but you will see me. Because I live, you also will live. On that day you will realize that I am in my Father, and you are in me, and I am in you. John 14:16-20