Five Minute Friday: Look

It’s 5-minute Friday time again! Today’s prompt is:

Look

Look. “Look at me!” the child inside says. The adult in me says “Don’t look at me!”

I am uncomfortable with attention, yet I crave affirmation.

The truth is – inside – I really want you to look at me, to see me for the real me, not just the package I’m wrapped in.

Because I’m very insecure inside this wrapper. I need someone to say I see the real you and I like you. 

If you are like me –on the inside- I suspect there will be a lot of us at Allume next week – we will all be looking for the real us inside the wrappers we are wrapped in.

May I make a request? Will you make your wrapper fit the real you? So I can see and recognize the sisters I long for when I look at you?

{lest you get worried that I mean no makeup or perfumery or nice clothes- that’s not what I’m talking about here- just so we’re straight on that} J

 “Consider how the lilies grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you, not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these.” Luke 12:27

 May we all be as lilies, just the way God made us!

Ding.  

 

Insignificance

 Posit: That we all feel insignificant, harbor insecurities, feel we’ve been left out of the game, and are worthless at least once in our lives.

We ALL battle this oppression imposed on us. It comes with the territory- this earth that we are bound to while we are breathing. This world that is dying, doomed, twisted and flawed because of its own sin. This world that is straining against the will of the evil one imposed only because he has been allowed to wander this place.

Whether it is only fleeting or it comes to dwell on our shoulders off and on throughout our lives, there is that sense of insignificance-that we are nothing or less than nothing. That feeling that we get when we look up into the face of the stars on a moonless night, that we are a grain of sand on one of a thousand beaches.

I sense that within us all there can be that part that doubts whether we can completely accept the gift of redemption and forgiveness from the hand of God that we received when we believed that Jesus paid the price of our sin and disbelief. If only because we doubt our worth to Him

“Amazing love, how can it be? That thou, my God, shouldst die for me?”- Charles Wesley

 

Who am I that You, my God, would die for me?

 

Shouldn’t I be doing something? Making a mark on this world? Make others see my significance? Wouldn’t that make it more certain? My salvation, that is?

 

Oh, dear friend, we still have to get past the doing and simply be.

 

Be His. His alone.

He loves. He carries. He holds. He comforts. He heals. He is enough.

He is coming. For us.  Me and You. The worthless bag of bones that we were – is no more.  Because we are significant to Him. Because He loves us.

“Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me. In my Father’s house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you.  And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am.  You know the way to the place where I am going.” John 14:1-4

“For you know that it was not with perishable things such as silver or gold that you were redeemed from the empty way of life handed down to you from your forefathers, but with the precious blood of Christ, a lamb without blemish or defect.” 1 Peter 1: 18-20 

“ But, dear friends, remember what the apostles of our Lord Jesus Christ foretold. They said to you, “In the last times there will be scoffers who will follow their own ungodly desires.” These are the men who divide you, who follow mere natural instincts and do not have the Spirit. But you, dear friends, build yourselves up in your most holy faith and pray in the Holy Spirit. Keep yourselves in God’s love as you wait for the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ to bring you to eternal life. Be merciful to those who doubt; snatch others from the fire and save them; to others show mercy, mixed with fear—hating even the clothing stained by corrupted flesh.” Jude 17-23

The Battle Within


Battlefields.

The lines are drawn. The soldiers are engaged. The populace is watching. Waiting. Waiting for what? A winner? A loser?

Does it feel like this in your heart? Are you watching, waiting, wondering who will win this time? Can you make it through another battle? What or who is pulling at your heart? Who wants to claim it as their territory? Do you even realize a battle is raging?

The way I see it, there can be only one winner. 

As a believer I’ve struggled so much within to maintain control without. I think I’ve allowed myself to be deceived by thinking what I want is what God wants. After all, I read the Bible, I pray, I study with others regularly, I do my best to walk the walk.

But if the devil can claim victory in the small things-every day things, our resolve in the really big things can be worn down. We compromise and don’t even realize it- our filters are out of focus.

To have the filters in focus 100% of the time I must be surrendered to God’s control 100% of the time. That does not require self-assurance of my own ability to see and know how to choose. It does require total dependence on the Holy Spirit. 

Because all things have consequence and are significant.

God made this world whole and complete to provide all we need. He guarantees it in His word:

“God saw all that he had made, and it was very good.” Genesis 1:31

“By the seventh day God had finished the work he had been doing; so on the seventh day he rested from all his work. Then God blessed the seventh day and made it holy, because on it he rested from all the work of creating that he had done.” Genesis 2:2-3

“So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them.” Matthew 6:31-32

But in my own bull in a china closet mentality I continue to struggle with doing it my way; even when I know it hurts another’s feelings. Of course, once the damage is done, I stop. And realize – I’ve done it again!

 

Exactly what I wrote about not doing just 10 minutes ago. Where are MY filters? In the heat of the moment, in the heat of the battle of will, my ears are closed to the Holy Spirit. But as soon as it’s over, I’m cut to the quick with regret and repentence. And back I go to the Throne asking forgiveness for hammering in that nail:

Knowing I provoked something, that really, I shouldn’t.  

Knowing that I’ve injured another’s heart.

Knowing that I will ask their forgiveness as well.

Knowing that just because my insecurities about not having my way and wanting my opinion respected are boiling up inside doesn’t mean I let them out to wreak havoc.

Knowing that I’ve turned a deaf ear, even when He is saying don’t go there.

Knowing that I’ve been disobedient and have not only caused pain for another person I’ve wounded the very One who died to cover the sin I just committed. 

Knowing I’ve truly missed the mark. Again.

Because it really isn’t all about me. Surrender to self is not an option. It’s about winning the battle to let go of me to become me in HIm. 

The battle is raging-put your armor on.