Walking on water…
“Lord, if it’s you,” Peter replied, “tell me to come to you on the water.”
“Come,” he said.
Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, “Lord, save me!” Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. “You of little faith,” he said, “why did you doubt?” Matthew 14:28-31
There are days when I wonder and am amazed at Peter’s boldness and I think, “What would I have done?”
It’s only when he takes his eyes off Jesus and looks away, {not where he was going}, that I think, “Yep, I know that experience. Been there, done that a kazillion times.”
And then, the firm grasp of Jesus’ hand as he reaches out to sinking Peter and rescues the perishing soul that Peter is in that moment… and I think, “ Oh, yes, Lord. Yes!”
I have lived most of my life as a believer, His child. He is the Pearl of Great Price, the Treasure hidden, the Kinsman Redeemer, the Sure Foundation, the Cornerstone, the Good Shepherd who didn’t forget about this one persnickety sheep.
With Him, I have passed through the fires of loneliness as a child, the murky deep of the swamp of insecurity of adolescence, the bright day of new love in marriage, the uncertainty of the first breaths of new life with each child’s birth, the brutal war of living with a functionally insane parent through each one of those questions I asked daily of Him: “How Long, O Lord, How long?” “What do you want me to do, Lord?” “What is it You want me to learn from this?” “Why?” “Why is she like this?” “Why can’t I just have a normal relationship with her?” “What must I change for this to work?” The questions droned on and on from me.
What I got back was: “I’m here.” “Listen.” “Trust me.” “I know where we are going.” And, finally: “I love you.”
And you know, I know He loves me. I’ve known that since I was a child. But, there was one moment in time, now set in concrete in my heart, He showed me.
He. LOVES. Me.
It was a small thing.
On any other day, in any other life, it would have been a blip on the radar.
But to me it was a BIG thing. It still is.
I was working full time, three kids in school, doing Bible Study Fellowship, answering questions when I could. I was sitting on the bed doing my questions and my contact started bothering me, so I popped it out. Mistake. Hard contact. Bounced out of my hand. Being half blind by then I could not find it for anything. Finally gave up.
I would have to call the doc and get a new one.
Only problem- nothing extra in the budget. For that matter- what budget?
For the next two weeks… I went around with one contact. During that time my Bible Study materials went in and out of the car about 9000 times. The notebook where I kept my notes went to Bible Study twice and I don’t know how many times it was opened and closed.
I was getting desperate… I needed to see. He knew my situation, knew my non-existent budget. And He knew my heart.
Sitting on the bed, my Bible and notebook stretched out in front of me; deep in another day’s questions, I turned a page.
You guessed it- there was my contact, whole, not broken, waiting to be found.
I lost it. Cried like a baby for twenty minutes.
And… then I really knew.
He LOVES me.
Now, walking on water really doesn’t seem to fit with this situation. Except that I had my eyes on my troubles and was sinking fast; however, when I focused my gaze on Him, His sure grasp pulled me up out of the water.
My situation didn’t change. But, my perspective did.
Oh, how He loves me.
See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! The reason the world does not know us is that it did not know him. 1John 3:1
When was the moment you knew?