Twue Wuv- (for you Princess Bride fans)
I am BLESSED.
In two weeks I will be celebrating 40 years of marriage to the man God intended me to marry. We were kids-17 and 19. We grew each other up. We knew the odds against teen marriages. Our pastor told us not to even think that our marriage was even possibly going to be a success until we had been married at least 5 years. I’m surprised now that he gave us even that long!
We have been broke, we’ve had money enough, we’ve gone without groceries, and we’ve over spent to share with others, we’ve made good choices and bad choices, we’ve been behind in paying our bills, we’ve paid them on time. But never once has God left us bereft, broken, and bleeding without hope.
Our backgrounds were very different. His family was intact; mine was not. His family went to church; mine sent me to church. He had a sister; I had no sibling. He had lived in the same house all of his life; I had gone to 14 different schools between kinder and graduation from high school. He was still in high school, I had graduated 2 years before we married. He had self-reliance and self-assurance; the only reliance and assurance I had was from God on High.
What was clear was that we were very much the same in some ways. We love music. Period. We learned early on that we could not rely on family in all things. We had friends who weren’t the kind of friends that our church acquaintances would be caught dead with (sad but true). We both were out of kilter at home. We grew up in that transitional late 60s early 70s where the independence of adolescent children was a terrible threat to the parents. We were odd-bods- his only sibling was mentally challenged and took most of the attention at home, I was being raised by grandparents- my parents split when I was a baby and yes, to put it clearly, I was dumped on the grandparents.
God placed us where our paths would cross and made sure we knew that we were supposed to be together. Never ignore the Holy Spirit when He tells you something- it’s always important.
Through 3 children, three in-law children and now 7 grandchildren, God has indeed placed many arrows in our quiver. He is my best friend, sometimes my only friend. He will hop on a train with me to anywhere in England. He will drive across the country with me to see our daughter or anywhere else for that matter. We held each other up as our mothers were dying- within two weeks of each other. We are comfortable together. Our conversations are never dull- sometimes they are too lively for our sons; but we are joined. We fit. Together.
I can’t wait to see what the next 40 years brings. Gladness. Sorrow. Anger. Joy. Loss. Gain. We will weather whatever comes and enjoy whatever comes because we are married to the person God chose us to marry. There’s a song out called “Dancing in the Minefields” by Andrew Peterson and no truer words were said about our marriage! We have danced in the minefields nearly every day of our life together and we will continue to do so. (video below if it doesn’t work the link is : http://youtu.be/_Gs3fg_WsEg)
Oh, and by the way, I LOVE HIM MORE THAN LIFE ITSELF.
Now that I’ve gushed all over the place, here’s the key:
Communicate. Whisper. Yell. Be kind. Be critical (not hateful). But Communicate. Talk to, not at each other, and the most important part of communication- listen. 0h, and, name calling isn’t allowed. In time, Love will temper the delivery and your actions will reveal the true meaning of your communication with each other.
And, finally, the mystery of it all is this:
“Our hope is built on nothing less than Jesus’ blood and righteousness.” I’m so glad we listened to You, Lord!
Note: This was written 2 years ago, and there are now 9 grands and it’s so much better, every year! and Communication is still the chief skill that keeps us together- even the “mis-communication” that happens!
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