Do you write?

{If you are a reader-not a writer-read on!  There’s something here for you too.}

Do you write? Have a blog? Have you written a book? Do you think about writing a book? Have a journal by your bed? More journals full of words in the bookcase? Do you ever wonder why you write? What spurs you on? Why in the world do you have these words rumbling around in your head; tumbling out of your mouth or your pen or your fingers tapping on the keyboard?

These questions, and others, started dogging me from the time I picked up a pen as a teen. I wrote out of pain, confusion and just plain frustration- like most teenagers. I was a very compliant kid, a not so compliant young woman (but only in my head).

Thus the tension. 

I read books like drinking water back then and through them I discovered there was a whole world out there that I would be thrust into when I grew up.  I wrote poems because somehow all the feelings of growing up and the knowledge those books gave to me had to be expressed.

My real world consisted of an alcoholic parent and a manipulative, functionally insane parent. One who pushed me toward young men, set up compromising situations and who would turn on me when I was guilty of making an innocent comment about life in relation to something I read.

I say this now because I know why I started writing and why I continue to write. 

His providential protection through all those years and in all those situations where I was helpless was for a reason.

 

God made me to write.

 

I read to know words.

 

I write to know me.

 

I grew up, got married, had kids, worked full time while still struggling with the thoughts rushing through my head; putting the words down on paper and typing them on the keyboard not really understanding.  Spilling them out before the Lord because I knew He understood my life way better than I did. He still does. I hear His Voice  through His Word. 

 I thought i’d share these verses because maybe, like me, you’ve been writing and reading and haven’t understood the way things happened or didn’t happen in your life. When you look back, can you now see a moment in time when His Hand protected or redirected you?

He speaks and I listen:

Let the redeemed of the Lord tell their story—those he redeemed from the hand of the foe, those he gathered from the lands, from east and west, from north and south. Psalm 107:2-3 NIV (emphasis mine)

But He said to me, “My grace (My favor and loving-kindness and mercy) is enough for you [sufficient against any danger and enables you to bear the trouble manfully]; for My strength and power are made perfect (fulfilled and completed) and show themselves most effective in [your] weakness.” Therefore, I will all the more gladly glory in my weaknesses and infirmities, that the strength and power of Christ (the Messiah) may rest (yes, may pitch a tent over and dwell) upon me! 2 Corinthians 12:9 AMP (again, emphasis mine)

Have you had similar experiences that you now know were His Providential Protection and that redirected your life?

Reflections of Allume

Now that I’m home I have been able to digest things I wrote while I was at the conference and here’s some of what came to me:

This blank page cries out to witness to the fact that it is here waiting for the words to be etched upon it.

Words that bring hope, love, freedom, charity, community, joy, healing, consolation, encouragement, commiseration, appreciation.

Words that banish shame, pain, wounding, bleeding, breaking, pride, arrogance. Words that express facts over the emotions of the moment.

Words that say balance, seek first the Kingdom, and write to your reader. 

Words that remind us to be generous, to walk with that sister out in the dry and lonely places, and to lift another up in prayer.

These words were also spoken without a sound- the look exchanged when a word made the connection, a hug, a squeeze of a shoulder, a casual arm around the waist, a fleeting smile, the deep down belly laughs waiting for the next pic to snap, the tears flowing.

And then, the words in metered rhyme across the page spoken out bravely and the stories told. The true expression of community’s meaning in the midst of the living, breathing community- we are here for you, we want you to give out your words, we want to hear them and breathe them in as you breathe them out, and  breathe them out again when we go back home. You have touched us in our inmost parts with the words The Word has given you to speak over us.

We left with clarity, joy, fulfillment, purpose, vision, new friends in real life, and so much more that He has graciously given from His Hand- and knowing we are better for it.

I realize this is fragmented, but those days were fragmented- I took the bits that were offered and they were indeed as nourishing as those cupcakes and cookies were- sweet to the taste!

“How sweet are your words to my taste, sweeter than honey to my mouth!” Psalm 119:103