We celebrate independence in our family daily. I once commented to my daughter that I didn’t understand why she did some of the things she did and she said “well, you raised me to be independent, so what did you expect?”
She had a great point there. Raising independent individuals who think for themselves, are responsible, and are accountable to themselves was, I think an underlying goal for most of my reasoning as a parent.
But BUT, the foundation for all of this independence is Jesus, the cornerstone of our lives. Where true independence lies in complete dependence.
I have to put the caveat in here:
We are not perfect; we were not perfect parents; we didn’t pray at every meal, we didn’t have family devotionals, we made a ton of mistakes.
OK, son- a kazillion mistakes; and often wished that someone had told us what was coming and the impact it would make on our sanity and our finances!
Now back to our regularly scheduled post subject.
We live in a country where independence is valued; some would say it’s an American’s Birthright. Yet sometimes, in our parenting, we have a tendency to foster their dependence on us; to want to protect them from everything; to hold on a little too tightly; and to refuse to acknowledge that the spark of independence we see in our children shows they are maturing and learning along the way.
If we trust God to know what’s best for all of us then we must be able to let them go as they grow, foster that independence and realize that they will make mistakes, screw up, and thoroughly embarrass and sadden us in the process of failing miserably and bring us joy in their success. We can confidently watch them continue on that road of independence if we know that they are dependent upon the Cornerstone, the sure foundation upon which they build their life of independence in this country that declared its own independence that 4th of July, 1776.
Something for myself as a parent:
Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it. Proverbs 22:6
Those who know your name trust in you, for you, Lord, have never forsaken those who seek you. Psalm 9:10
My admonishment to my children:
Do everything without complaining or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and
depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe as you hold out the word of life—in order that I may boast on the day of Christ that I did not run or labor for nothing. Philippians 2:14-16
My prayer for my children:
For this reason, since the day we heard about you, we have not stopped praying for you and asking God to fill you with the knowledge of his will through all spiritual wisdom and understanding. And we pray this in order that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and may please him in every way: bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God, being strengthened with all power according to his glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience, and joyfully giving thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of the saints in the kingdom of light. For he has rescued us from the dominion of darkness and brought us into the kingdom of the Son he loves, in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins. Colossians 1:9-14