We are here, hunkered down; don’t go anywhere, don’t do anything outside the house- technically true.
We do-run by and pick up a grocery order, where the store worker places our purchases in the back end of the car.
We do brave Costco for a few necessities – with a mask on, at the early hour when there’s not many people.
We do come home and scrub the skin off our hands.
We do screen packages that arrive, mail from the mailbox. No hesitation in placing junk mail in the recycle bin first. Then wash our hands again.
We have gotten drive thru 3 times and came home and disposed of packaging and washed our hands before we sat down to eat.
We are cautious, but we want to see the grands. So we zoom. And they are loud and fun and funny.
My Bible study group zooms twice a week- once for us for training, once for prayer. And every other week either I or my co-leader prepares a lesson for the kids in our group.
I am washing more clothes and dishes than I have since the kids left home.
I find my husband following me around sometimes. At others he walks the house to find me if I’m not where he expects me to be.
I am tired.
I am tired of following the rules.
I am tired of being told I’m in the high-risk group and being extra careful.
I am tired of explaining things to FB friends who aren’t in the medical field. (No offense friends- I’ve been happy to share what I know. I’m just tired.)
I think I’ve had a bit of PTSD. After dealing with swine flu in 2010- an experience that did me in – I’m tired of all the teaching and reteaching that is going on. It’s everywhere.
And. I’mI irritated. with a capital I.
About all of this. The reactions of family and friends, from the fearful to the cavalier.
Folks, please understand, I’m not mad at you. I’m mad at this world system that keeps us in turmoil from the governments to the media and all things in between.
I am not afraid, but I am following what I know to be common sense behavior.
And I’m tired of people spouting half right information. Just wait till you have all the info, please.
And I do know that people are genuinely worried about money, education, transportation, food, supplies and all the other ‘what ifs’ that accompany our situation.
But, in these days of what seems more uncertain than perhaps any other time in our own stories, I want you to know you are not forgotten, God loves you and He is always present. He knows and sees all that is happening. He didn’t cause it, but it’s gotten our attention. We have an advocate, an ever present helper, a shelter in the storm, a hiding place, a cleft in the rock where we can hide.
The verses I cling to right now are these:
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.[a]– Proverbs 3:5-6
When I am afraid, I put my trust in you. In God, whose word I praise – in God I trust and am not afraid. What can mere mortals do to me? -Psalm 56:2-4
Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him; do not fret when people succeed in their ways, when they carry out their wicked schemes. Refrain from anger and turn from wrath; do not fret – it leads only to evil. – Psalm 37:6-8
The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.’- Exodus 14:14
Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. – Philippians 4:5-7
The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.’ – Deuteronomy 31:8
But the angel said to them, ‘Do not be afraid. I bring you good news that will cause great joy for all the people. 11 Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is the Messiah, the Lord. – Luke 2:10-11
Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid. – John 14:27
So we say with confidence, ‘The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid. What can mere mortals do to me?’ -Hebrews 13:6
If you are afraid, identify that fear and hand it over to the One who can take fear and turn it into faith. These things are light and momentary. They do not define us. They don’t even get a label. Trust in the One who holds you when you have no strength to hold on. Trust in the One who says to you:
So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. – Isaiah 41:10