{"id":563,"date":"2012-09-18T22:27:13","date_gmt":"2012-09-19T03:27:13","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/wordsfromthehomefront.com\/?p=563"},"modified":"2016-11-02T22:28:35","modified_gmt":"2016-11-03T03:28:35","slug":"if-only","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/wordsfromthehomefront.com\/index.php\/2012\/09\/18\/if-only\/","title":{"rendered":"If Only"},"content":{"rendered":"

In today\u2019s world, how can we make it in our upside down reality? We think we know what our lives could be like if only\u2026. everything had turned out like we planned.<\/span><\/p>\n

If we knew everything\u00a0or<\/em>\u00a0had everything\u00a0or<\/em>\u00a0everyone loved us we would wake up in a different world. Everything would be bright and shiny; smiles all around, breakfast on the table when we got up, dinner on the table at 6pm. That\u2019s what it would have been like if Eve hadn\u2019t eaten the fruit. But, she did. And she didn\u2019t get what she expected either.<\/span><\/p>\n

Sin is the big UGLY that we all experience. Victim or perpetrator, there is sin in our lives. Large and in living color sin. It sits there like 3-day old fish on the counter making every thing stink that\u2019s nearby. Takes days, weeks even, to get the smell out. Permeates even our clothes and hair\u2026 Get the picture? Sin is stinky stuff. It contributes to the \u201cMy life isn\u2019t supposed to be this way!\u201d\u00a0 line of thinking.<\/span><\/p>\n

How do we do it? How do we work out the problems, the disasters, the grief, the constant sadness of what has happened to us in our lives that have derailed our plans for our lives to the extent that we have gotten to the place where we cry out:\u00a0But my life wasn\u2019t supposed to be like this!<\/span>\u00a0This isn\u2019t how I thought it would be!<\/span>\u00a0It\u2019s not how I planned it!<\/span>\u00a0I didn\u2019t do anything wrong!<\/span>\u00a0I never wanted this!<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

I never dreamed this would happen to me.<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

Our souls cry out with longing: How long? Why is this happening in my life, to my family, to those I love, because of those I love? What have I done? What are You trying to teach me? My mother always said:\u00a0 \u201cBe sure your sins will find you out.\u201d; What sin, Lord, what sin? Where did I go wrong? What did I do to p*** you off? (oh yes I did ask that at one time- and I think it was only once and I\u2019m so sad I did and so thankful for His forgiveness) What is it I am not getting? When will this end? When will I see the light at the end of the tunnel? Why not him and not me? Why not her and not me? What about them, their sin, their messed up lives?\u00a0Why Me?<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

And the corker,\u00a0now<\/em>\u00a0to me is this: How come\u00a0You<\/span><\/strong>\u00a0allowed<\/em>\u00a0this to happen to me?\u00a0 If you could hear me say \u2018allowed\u2019 it would be very loud, long and drawn out. Acckk.<\/span><\/p>\n

Looking back and looking at what I wrote above I notice something that stands out. You probably have, too.<\/span><\/p>\n

I, I, I, I, me, me, me.<\/span><\/p>\n

How incredibly self-centered I\u2019ve been at times. There\u2019s no getting around it. Out in the wasteland, out there, it\u2019s terribly lonely and the only one I saw out there was me.<\/span><\/p>\n

Just thinking about this, I hear the Michael Card song \u201cHow Long?\u201d\u00a0 playing in my head- (you can find it on youtube- just ignore the 80\u2019s guitar solo bridge) His words were taken from Psalm 13:1-6:<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

How long,\u00a0<\/span>Lord<\/span><\/span>? Will you forget me forever?<\/span>\u00a0How long will you hide your face from me?<\/span>\u00a02\u00a0How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and day after day have sorrow in my heart?<\/span>\u00a0How long will my enemy triumph over me?\u00a03\u00a0Look on me and answer,\u00a0<\/span>Lord<\/span><\/span>\u00a0my God. Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep in death,\u00a04\u00a0and my enemy will say, \u201cI have overcome him, \u201dand my foes will rejoice when I\u00a0fall<\/span>.<\/span><\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

5\u00a0<\/span>But<\/span><\/span>\u00a0I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation.\u00a06\u00a0I will sing the\u00a0<\/span>Lord<\/span><\/span>\u2019s praise,<\/span>\u00a0for he has been good to me.<\/span><\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Just writing about this has taken me back to that place, those volcanic feelings erupting all over my day. Ick. Most of the time I\u2019ve read this I\u2019ve stopped after verse 4. I\u2019ve fallen into the crack between \u2018fall.\u2019<\/em>\u00a0and \u2018But\u2019<\/em>\u00a0more times than I care to admit. I\u00a0fall<\/em>.\u00a0But<\/em>\u00a0when I keep reading, the promise is fully given, the trial redeemed. I am set free to praise Him\u00a0in<\/em>\u00a0the cracks and empty spaces in my life. I am free to praise Him\u00a0for<\/em>\u00a0the cracks and empty spaces in my life.\u00a0 I am free to mourn my plight because He is good to me. And, I am free to offer up my praise for His salvation as long as I draw breath.<\/span><\/p>\n

I can actively practice trust daily, regardless of what life {God} brings to my door. \u00a0 And, in doing so I find the gift of His Love in the small and large. In the minutiae of taking the next breath and in the grandness of a sunrise.<\/span><\/p>\n

Dear friend, has everything happened according to what you planned for your life? Are you worn out because of the constant wrestling with your heart?\u00a0 Will you let Him meet you in your wilderness?<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

\n

Praise be to the Lord, to God our Savior,<\/span>\u00a0who daily bears our burdens. Psalm 68:19<\/span><\/em><\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/em><\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cCome to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.<\/span>\u00a0Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.<\/span>\u00a0For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.\u201d Matthew 11:28-30<\/span><\/em><\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Carry each other\u2019s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ. Galatians 6:2<\/span><\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0Linked up with:<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

In today\u2019s world, how can we make it in our upside down reality? We think we know what our lives could be like if only\u2026. everything had turned out like we planned. If we knew everything\u00a0or\u00a0had everything\u00a0or\u00a0everyone loved us we would wake up in a different world. Everything would be bright and shiny; smiles all … Read more<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3],"tags":[277,11,295],"class_list":["post-563","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-blog","tag-conviction","tag-jesus","tag-sin"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wordsfromthehomefront.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/563","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wordsfromthehomefront.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wordsfromthehomefront.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wordsfromthehomefront.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wordsfromthehomefront.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=563"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/wordsfromthehomefront.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/563\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":564,"href":"https:\/\/wordsfromthehomefront.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/563\/revisions\/564"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wordsfromthehomefront.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=563"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wordsfromthehomefront.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=563"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wordsfromthehomefront.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=563"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}