{"id":1102,"date":"2025-07-26T11:50:34","date_gmt":"2025-07-26T16:50:34","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wordsfromthehomefront.com\/?p=1102"},"modified":"2025-07-26T11:50:34","modified_gmt":"2025-07-26T16:50:34","slug":"grief","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/wordsfromthehomefront.com\/index.php\/2025\/07\/26\/grief\/","title":{"rendered":"Grief"},"content":{"rendered":"

\u201cmy soul is downcast within me. Yet this I call to mind<\/em> and therefore I have hope: <\/em>Because of the Lord\u2019s great love we are not consumed,<\/em> for his compassions never fail. <\/em>They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. <\/em>I say to myself, \u2018The Lord is my portion;<\/em> therefore I will wait for him.\u2019\u201d <\/em><\/span><\/strong>Lamentations 3:20b-24\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cThough he brings grief, he will show compassion, <\/em>s<\/em>o great is his unfailing love.\u00a0<\/em>\u00a0For he does not willingly bring affliction<\/em> or grief to anyone.\u201d <\/em><\/span><\/strong>Lamentations 3:32-33<\/p>\n

The reality of life is that even as it begins death looms in the space between our breaths.<\/p>\n

Our sorrow becomes an overwhelming tide of grief that even as the wave crashes onto the shore of our hearts and subsides another wave begins.\u00a0 It grabs us at odd moments and takes our breath away. Over time it does not recede completely but becomes a silent companion- a joke goes unsaid because the person who would love to hear it is no longer there- not just not beside us, but gone. Permanently. The great news we are bursting to share remains unshared.\u00a0 Small instances in our lives we would have expressed over dinner stay covered and fade without their intended audience.<\/p>\n

The one thing I know about grief is that through it we learn that no other human can bring anything that will completely comfort. We can sit with each other in joint identification of what we are experiencing; but deep inside, where our grief resides is a place that no one else can enter.\u00a0 It is our grief that we bear alone moment by moment.<\/p>\n

It is made a little easier to talk about when we are with someone who has also experienced the kind of grief we hold.\u00a0 Yet, even in their presence those waves can come crashing in unexpectedly.<\/p>\n

For myself, the reality of knowing that there will never be another conversation, another door opening and closing with that person entering the house, or even a face to talk with over dinner to compare the moments of that day is what defines my grief.<\/p>\n

When the person who has died was a difficult one to live with, grief comes accompanied by guilt. Guilt for the lack of words or for too many words exchanged while they were alive. Guilt for the inability to communicate well or to understand just what exactly we could have done differently or better. The \u201cI should haves\u201d creep in and perch on the bedpost in the night.<\/p>\n

The questions of \u201cwhy them and not me?\u201d; \u201cwhat else could I have done?\u201d; \u201cwhy did God allow them to live incapacitated for so long?\u201d; \u201cwhy did I have to watch the painful slowness that is dying so long?\u201d\u00a0 A multitude of other thoughts flow in with those waves that keep crashing into the nighttime of our sorrow.<\/p>\n

The suddenness of death, even when expected, impacts with us physically and hits the shock button initiating so many feelings and thoughts that we are stunned into auto pilot and become zombies for a time until we can bear up under the weight of the finality of what has just happened.\u00a0 I think being a zombie for a while insulates us from the heaviness of grief in the instantaneous change of our status.\u00a0 We becomes I.\u00a0 Am becomes was.\u00a0 Has becomes had. Are becomes were. Suddenly. Irrevocably.<\/p>\n

Our feet drag. Our shoulders droop.\u00a0 Our smiles are lost. Our appetites are missing. Some of these become permanent dwellers with us. Some only stay until a sort of equilibrium sets in and becomes our new normal.<\/p>\n

For some of us – even though we go through this whole tsunami of feelings, not feelings, non-feelings, good and bad feelings all at the same time- the grief is tempered by faith and hope. Hope in the One who made us, who gave us that breath in the beginning. Hope that we will at some future time-of our own measuring- see them again and pick up where we left off even if it may not be true. Hope that springs eternal knowing that this is not all there is. That there is something more. Something far greater than the grief that has become our constant companion, even if it\u2019s moved a little further away for a while.<\/p>\n

The hope of eternity with our Maker, our Designer, Our Crafter, Our Creator, Our Father makes it bearable in a way that can\u2019t be adequately explained in words. Because He identifies with us in the sorrow- He has experienced it, that gut wrenching grief in the watching of a part of Him die so much so that He turned away from Jesus on that cross.<\/p>\n

\u00a0And, because His Spirit resides within us, that which looks impossible can be seen as possible in His economy.<\/p>\n

We think we are grasping onto the promises He gives to ease our sorrows; but in reality, like life, any grasp we experience is unexplainable in words. The only explanation is in the knowledge He gives us that He is the One actually doing the holding on and that it is He who sustains us.\u00a0 For the time we have been given.<\/p>\n

We carry it with us-we and our Creator-in the understanding that one day it will no longer be ours to hold.<\/p>\n

When we reach that shore where the waves no longer break in on us but have moved on to others to bear up under; we carry our grief.<\/p>\n

We carry it together each step of the way home.<\/p>\n

\u201cRecord my misery; put my tears in your bottle\u2013 are they not in your book?\u201d<\/span> <\/em><\/strong>Psalm 56:8<\/p>\n

\u201cEven now my witness is in heaven; my advocate is on high. My intercessor is my friend\u00a0as my eyes pour out tears to God; on behalf of a man he pleads with God as one pleads for a friend. Only a few years will pass before I take the path of no return.<\/em>\u201c\u00a0 <\/em><\/span><\/strong>\u00a0Job 16: 19-22<\/p>\n

\u201cLord, do not rebuke me in your anger\u00a0or discipline me in your wrath.
\nHave mercy on me,\u00a0Lord, for I am faint;\u00a0heal me,\u00a0Lord, for my bones are in agony.
\nMy soul is in deep anguish.\u00a0How long,\u00a0Lord, how long?<\/em><\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

Turn,\u00a0Lord, and deliver me;\u00a0save me because of your unfailing love.
\nAmong the dead no one proclaims your name.\u00a0Who praises you from his grave?<\/em><\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

I am worn out from my groaning.<\/em><\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

All night long I flood my bed with weeping\u00a0and drench my couch with tears.
\nMy eyes grow weak with sorrow; they fail because of all my foes.”<\/em><\/span><\/strong>\u00a0<\/em><\/strong>Psalm 6:1-7<\/p>\n

\u00a0\u201c<\/em>And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, \u2018Look! God\u2019s dwelling-place is now among the people, and he will dwell with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. \u201cHe will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death\u201d or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.\u2019\u201d <\/span><\/em><\/strong>\u00a0<\/span>Revelation 21:3-4<\/p>\n

“Show me your ways, Lord<\/span>, <\/span>\u00a0<\/span>teach me your paths. <\/span><\/span>Guide me in your truth and teach me,<\/span>\u00a0<\/span>for you are God my Savior, <\/span><\/span>\u00a0<\/span>and my hope is in you all day long. <\/span><\/span>Remember, Lord<\/span>, your great mercy and love,<\/span><\/em><\/strong><\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/em><\/strong><\/span>for they are from of old.<\/em><\/strong><\/span>” \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 <\/span><\/span>Psalm 25:4-6<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u201cmy soul is downcast within me. Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope: Because of the Lord\u2019s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, \u2018The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for … Read more<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3],"tags":[389,15,167,39,32,390,393,14,388,392,391],"class_list":["post-1102","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-blog","tag-burden","tag-comfort","tag-death","tag-grief","tag-hope","tag-misery","tag-mourning","tag-peace","tag-sorrow","tag-tears","tag-weeping"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wordsfromthehomefront.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1102","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wordsfromthehomefront.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wordsfromthehomefront.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wordsfromthehomefront.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wordsfromthehomefront.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1102"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/wordsfromthehomefront.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1102\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1104,"href":"https:\/\/wordsfromthehomefront.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1102\/revisions\/1104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wordsfromthehomefront.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1102"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wordsfromthehomefront.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1102"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wordsfromthehomefront.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1102"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}